Sunday, September 28, 2014

it. happened.

The dream is real. How can I manage to put into words the amazing week I have just had. It started off with a long journey to the land of the sun, oh and the HEAT! That is very much a thing, it took a little getting used to, but it was nice after a while. Included in the long journey was so many laughs, off topic jokes, some slightly weird conversations with my three amigos. I really think one of these days this crew is going to have a reality show because honestly we are a crack up. When we got to Arizona it all seemed so very surreal. I mean we had been waiting 278 days to be in this one moment, and in a few short days it all would be happening. I don't think any of us knew in that moment how much that moment would mean to us. Before I tell you all about the amazing experience I had on Tuesday, I think you all deserve to know why this all means so much to me..

A year ago, when Taylor died I was pretty lost, and I felt really sad a lot of the time. At the time I had a boy in my life, and he made up for all the sadness and loss I was feeling, he tried really hard every day to make me smile, and to lift my spirits, but he had to leave, and I was trying so hard to be okay with it because he was doing the right thing, and then I found out a lot of stuff went on that I didn't know about before he left, and once again I was left feeling lost and defeated. I still had my friends though. They tried I believe just as hard if not harder to make me feel better, even after my heart was broken yet again. In attempts to make me smile we clenched on to a boy band. We fell in love with the fabulous idea that we were all perfect for each other, and that we would live these extravagant lives, and be friends when we were married. As crazy as it sounds, I loved the idea of having a different life at the time. I was sick of being sad, and lost. I just wanted to be loved, and to live a life I had always dreamed of living, but was so ridiculous that I knew it would never happened. So just like that we were obsessed. For a long time that is all we would talk about, and just the mere thought of being with this boy in a band I loved seemed pretty great, and was all I wanted. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it did help get my mind off the bad days. So for a year this is all I've ever wanted, to meet Harry, and fall in love, and live that picture perfect life you dream about as a kid. Deep down I knew that it most likely would never happen, but it is always fun to dream. So when the time came last November to buy our tickets to see them in September I was over the moon. I could really see him in person, and maybe just maybe if the fates aligned the dream would be real. (I know I sound like a little girl, sue me!)

So here we are the night before the concert I had dreamed about for months. Monday night was hands down one of the most anxious nights I have had in my entire life. I didn't know how to function, so many what if scenarios were going through my head, and the thought of seeing the guy I had dreamed about was finally going to become a reality. I could hardly stand the anticipation, that night the three of us went to bed so excited for the next day, I don't think any of us actually slept however.

Tuesday came and the excitement built. It was finally time for us. We made our way to the stadium where thousands of young pre-teen girls ran around screaming, and giggling. We felt pretty old not going to lie. I was in awe of how many people there were. This stadium holds 63,400 people, and that night it was filled, every seat, with screaming girls who couldn't wait to see 5, well 9 very handsome men grace the stage. We waited for 5 hours. We watched video after video of commercials up until the show, we took far to many pictures, and felt no shame might I add, and then it was time. The lights went out, the safety video began to play, and enter the opening band. Let's just put something into perspective for you, in this room there were tons of what we in this fandom call directioners, every one of them crazily in love with One Direction, a few in the room also were in love with the opening band, 5 Seconds Of Summer (who we will be going to see next summer), now few were as in love with both bands as much as we were, so when they went on stage, we were pretty excited.
For perspective this is just the sound of half the screaming girls in the stadium for 5 Seconds of Summer. the overly loud ones, are us. (:
 (Warning: video contains loud screams for the safety of your ears and speakers turn down volume for all videos in this post.)

That was it from that moment on we were all in a daze, I remember being so over joyed by seeing one of my favorite bands live that it was all very unreal to me. I was so in love with seeing them I didn't even want to know what would come over me when one direction came on. Here are a could more clips from the opening act, and some pictures, forgive the shaking camera, when you are dancing, and the stadium is shaking the camera very rarely can stay still. Also please ignore any comments, and loud singing that comes on. We were pretty excited. (:

(heartache on the big screen my favorite 5SOS song)
(This is Calum Hood he is a babe)



So 5SOS sang a lot of really great songs, and we got really pumped to see them in July in San Diego! They left the stage, and the half hour wait for one direction began. We all sat there not knowing how to prepare ourselves for what was about to happen, so what was the most natural thing we did, take a million pictures.
(My two lovely best friends. We killed it)

(Me and my Seester getting our rock on)

(This picture sums up mine and Marn's relationship)

(My goodness my friends are beautiful)

(We snapchatted a lot as well. Sorry to any of our friends)

It was finally time, our boys were making our way to the stage, and it all started with a video.. Now this isn't my recording but it does give you the main idea, minus the screaming girls..



Then the came out, and sang Midnight Memories. We slightly fangirled, okay we fangirled a lot. 


(Once again don't judge us for the things we scream)

I don't think in the moment I really wrapped my head around the fact that we were really there. I kept looking at Madi and Marny trying to grasp the idea that we were finally there. I wanted one of them to slap me, and make me snap back into reality, but I was lost. I couldn't stop staring at them (mainly harry) but I just didn't know how to react to seeing someone you only see through a computer screen in person. They sang a lot of songs that make me feel things, a lot of emotions that I just don't know how to handle. One song that is truly beautiful every time is Little Things. Let me tell you how beautiful it is to hear them sing this song live. Their voices harmonizing so perfectly, and watching the stadium light up with phones. It is something so truly breath taking that I don't think this video captures it, but you get the idea.

(I had to trim it down, so here is a part of it)

In essence out of the three of us we filled three wiped phones with full capacity, used an iPod, and a camera. We captured the heck out of this concert, and regret nothing. just to wrap it up here are some last photos from the trip. These are anything from car scenes, to random pictures, one direction, and some jam session clips. Enjoy!

(Ashton on drums 5SOS)

 (Niall and Louis)

(Niall)

(The Famous Row move!)


(Liam and Harry)

(Liam)

(Zayn hitting his high note in moments)

 (The boys of one direction)

 (He kills me..)

 (Harry doing his thing)

 (My personal favorite!)


(Pre-concert kitchen selfies)

(Pre-Concert)

(our we arrived 4 hours early so let's take pictures photos)

(We crushed them)

(M&M World in Vegas)

(On the way home..)

(Sick lizard, dinosaur, and some other reptile car I saw on the road)


(Madi's snapchats were on point the whole trip)


(Did I mention car jams, forgive our moments of highly off key singing)


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

someone else

Ever since I got home from my trip I haven't really felt like myself. I have been trying to figure out why, and all I can come up with is one word, disappointment.

Have you ever woken up one day and just felt like a major disappointment? I have this week. I feel like I am disappointing everyone in my life, but most of all myself.

I feel as if I disappointed my friends while we were in Vegas. I couldn't put into words while we were there how insanely hard it was for me to be in that city. Something hard I have to face is doing things my brother loved to do. It is hard for me to do any of the things he enjoyed, or going to any of the places that he loved. Now if any of you knew my brother you know how much he loved Las Vegas. As soon as we arrived in the city that is all I could think about. All I could see in the faces around me were my brother. It was one of the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time, and it ripped my heart out knowing while I was in the city he loved, that he would never be able to experience it again. So to my friends I am deeply sorry if I disappointed you, and ruined what you wished would have been a more adventurous moment. I wish in that moment I could have been strong enough for you guys.

I disappointed myself. I once again let my mind be clouded with words that had no meaning, and what I thought to be genuine, and caring moments to become more that what they were. I allowed myself to slip into web of lies guys tell to get something from you, and I have been beating myself up over it for a week. I wish then that I would have held my guns, and stuck to the plan of not allowing the words he said make me believe that he was any different until he gave me a reason to believe he was. So to myself I hope one day I learn to forgive myself for the short comings I see in my own life.

Mostly, out of all of these I feel like I disappointed the most important person in my life, my heavenly father. I have done a lot of soul searching these last couple months, I have tried to convince myself that I didn't have to give 100% to what I believe in, because when I did give my all, bad things kept happening. So I guess in a way I thought well if bad things are still going to happen why must I give my all. I didn't do anything bad, I just let little things not bug me anymore. If I slipped up, and forgot to pray one night I simply would shrug it off. If I acted out as much as I ever could, mostly by being a major sass. I would shrug it off, and I honestly thought I might be able to handle my life without his help. Let me tell you something right now, I was wrong. I have never felt more lost, and scared then when I let my work towards becoming better slack off. I have seen the hole not having his light in my life as strong has caused, and I am on my knees daily now asking for his forgiveness, and help. I know I cannot do it alone, and I shouldn't have had to test my faith in order to know this. I shouldn't have let what the world expected me to be cloud the way I know he would want me to be. I hope one day in the near future I can have his light shine strongly in my soul again.

I don't know what it is about disconnecting yourself from all the noise of the world that causes the mind to solve the aches you feel inside, but it did just that. All I had to do was walk away from my phone, get away from social media, look at myself in the mirror, and honestly ask if the person who I saw was who I wanted to be. Try it. Turn it off, take a step back and see the world around you. Stop walking around like someone else trapped inside your body. Be the person you know you should be, and let the world get over it. You are who are supposed to be, no man, friend,  or random stranger on the street should ever make you feel like you are something you are not. Let the light in, and see yourself the way Heavenly Father does. You might be surprised the things you learn in such a short time.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

finally. it is time

I know I know I usually post these lovely posts on friday, but this week make an exception. In order for me to write this I have to post it on saturday..

Ladies and Gents after 278 days of not so patiently waiting the time has come for us to leave for ARIZONA!

This has been the one thing I have been waiting for for so long that now that it is here I am so freaking excited I cannot handle it.
As you read this miss Marny Shaye, Madi, and I, will be driving our beautiful selves to Arizona. Where we will wait three more days until we see the BIGGEST BAND on the planet live. I know what you are thinking.. "Morgan they are just a band, you seriously cannot be this excited." my answer to you is FALSE! I am that excited and more none the less. Judge away I really don't care, they are my guilty pleasure that I don't feel guilty for having. So let us all accept the fact that I love them, and move along with our lives.

Now while I am enjoying the Arizona sun, live music, the batman museum, and spending time with my mains. Enjoy your weeks, and keep on smiling. The sun is up, the day is new. Make it worth your while!

P.S. prepare yourselves for loads of pictures next week. It is happening! (:

always remember. every day has something beautiful in it.

Friday, September 5, 2014

what if

I have learned something new about loss. When you lose someone close to you, your mind tends to be filled with all of the what if questions. Questions you either have no idea why you are thinking, and the ones you know are true, but you are just too far into denial to admit to yourself. I am still to this day constantly asking myself the what if questions, but lately this one has been on my mind the most.

From a very young age I have always strived to be that person my friends and family could come to no matter what, and tell me anything. I have always loved helping people, and making them feel better. Over the years friends have turned to me in hard times, and I have tried my best to be that shoulder to cry on, and that positive light at the end of the tunnel for them.  For a long time I was proud of myself for being that person for so many of my friends..

However, when things got hard for my brother, and he started to withdraw from the bonds we had made, instead of reaching out, and being that person for him I withdrew with him, and frankly I got mad. I was mad at him for abandoning me. I was mad that all the promises, and secrets we shared were no longer relevant to him, or so I thought, and I was so mad that I didn't stop to listen. I think back a lot now on all the conversations we shared, and all the times I would just watch him trying to figure out what happened to my brother, and I never said anything. Instead I was so hurt that I let him go along his way without a word from me. I constantly am I asking myself, "What if I would have reached out. What if I would have asked him if I could have helped him. What if I was his strength more than just getting angry." Would this have changed anything? Could I have helped him before he was too far in? Could I have made him feel more whole inside than the darkness that fooled him to believe any less? I ask these things to myself often, and whenever I have those very one sided conversations with him, I plead with him to forgive me. To forgive my lack of understanding those three years. I pray that one day he will see how I felt, how hard it was watching him hurt from afar, and watching the darkness of the world consume him.

I am grateful that the last year I got to spend with my brother that our bond was beginning to heal. We both let each other in more in that year than we had in our entire lives. He showed me how hard life was for him, and I was striving to be that light for him. One of my most cherished memories I have now, is on our way home from thanksgiving dinner at my aunts house right after Taylor had started to get better, I hadn't seen him in almost a month, we were sitting in the backseat of the car just talking as a family, and I just rested my head on his shoulder. Keep in mind even when we were younger we knew we loved each other, we just weren't really affectionate. So this came as quite of shock to him. I remember I just looked up at him and said, I missed my brother. He put is arm around me and we stayed that way the whole way home. In that moment I felt my brothers love for me more than I ever have my entire life. I knew in that moment how sorry he was for not being there for me as much as he wished he could have, and I knew in that moment we were going to be okay. I am so grateful I had that moment with him, and I live in that moment always.

I still have my questions, my whys, what ifs, and how comes, but time is helping. In time I have come to know my brother deeper than I did when he was here, I have come to know of the strength he has given me, and I have seen is presence in my life. I see a lot of my brother in me now. I think he gifted me some of his tastes when he left, so a part of him could live on in me. I turn to him always, and pray for his help daily. I know he is happy where he is, and that he is my guardian angel here on earth. I honestly can't wait to have that moment once more with my brother, but until then I will live life for both of us, experiencing everything fully, and enjoying this life, because if my brother did anything during his time on this earth it was live.


Friday, August 22, 2014

sometimes things turn out okay

For quite a while I have been pretty stressed about things. Things that even though people said I shouldn't stress about I still was. A lot of the time I internalize a lot of what I am going through. I don't like people to think I am weak, or overwhelmed. So I keep it all inside.
Things pile up in layers inside me, stress, sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration, etc. and it keeps piling up, until I burst. It isn't healthy and it isn't okay, but it has become a habit I have formed over time so that I wasn't a burden when others around me were worse off than I was.
However, this is a topic for a different day. This post is going to be sunny and bright if it is the last thing I do...

Well in my last post I talked about how through patience, and trust I was able to find the some light again. Guess what? It just keeps coming. I have been asking a lot of questions in my heart about what I was supposed to do, and how things were supposed to work out in my life. Well my friends I got some answers..

Two weeks ago I agreed to interview for a promotion at Pier 1.. it is a Sales Leader position. I was nervous about it since well this is my first real job.. but since I had been doing so well there. I GOT IT! I got the promotion and I am thrilled. It is so refreshing to be learning new things, and gaining management experience.

The afternoon after my interview I got tickets to see one of my favorite bands next summer in California with my girls, and I was so happy I thought it was Christmas already. I cannot wait to visit San Diego next summer, and take in the ocean, and my favorite things.

The same night as my interview I got an email from the financial aid department of my school informing me that I had been selected to receive the sophomore scholarship at my school, due to my academic performance last semester! I was thrilled. Even though my parents told me not to stress over it I still was because school isn't cheap these days, and even though this isn't going to pay for all of my school for the year. It is a big help! So I was quite the happy camper.

A lot of good things happened in such a short period of time I was overwhelmed. I didn't know whether to smile or burst into tears. There is so much happening in my life right now, and even though I am crazy busy, and exhausted half the time, the experiences that I am having, and the memories I am making are worth every second of it. So there you have it folks, my happy go lucky post. I am one happy girl for the time being, and I am going to enjoy it while it lasts..




By the way in case you were curious only 24 days until I get to see my favorite people live in concert in Arizona! It's okay if you can't control your excitement, I have the same feelings! (:


Friday, August 8, 2014

look up

I have sat here staring at this blinking bar for the past three weeks. I have been trying to think of something to say that wasn't overly depressing, or was too hard for me to write. My own personal form of writers block. I think at this point I have about 10 half written blog posts just sitting waiting to be touched. I have been waiting for that answer. The answer to what I have been searching for, and today I found it.

I have this constant battle within me every day. I wake up look up at the ceiling of my room, and fight with myself whether to get up, or just lay there, whether to smile at the thought of a new day, or see the day as what it is another day fighting the darkness in my mind.

I have never had do this before. I have always been able to face the days with a smile, and mean it. It was never forced, or lacking in genuine nature. However, it is different now. Even though I have thousands of reasons to smile and be happy, none of them seem to matter at that point in the morning. Well minutes pass over this internal battle, and I usually decided to get up frankly because there is no other option when you have to go to work, and I put on the face the world expects to see.

At this point people expect me to have the same overly optimistic smile, and positive attitude that I have always had. And truth be told I wish I was still that person. I wish I could see the light at the end of the darkness, and embrace the truths that I know. Now more than ever I wish I was as bright as I used to be. Now the darkness clouds me, and most days the darkness of the day wins over. This darkness isn't anything like temptations, or bad choices. It comes in more of a sadness, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness, and depressing thoughts.. I think of things that are wrong in my life and not necessarily the good things..

For about a month I have been pleading to my Heavenly Father why he keeps putting really crumby things in my path. Why I had to experience all of these heartaches and pains. Why did Taylor have to have so many trials? Why did my dad have to lose his job? Why did Taylor have to be taken so early? Why couldn't Grandma have been around long enough to see me get married? Why did I not qualify for financial aid to pay for school? The list could go on. I am pretty sure he has just sat there listening to me as if to say, are you done yet? I have been so quick to shy away from any thought of gratitude that even the slightest things I would brush off.

That is why I posted my talk in my last post. I thought maybe, just maybe if I read the words I wrote, and found that sense of strength in gratitude again, that I could wake up in the mornings to see the light. It didn't come. I read and re-read that talk over and over and I got nothing. I needed a sign. A sign that He still cared enough about me. That the light was still there, and that I was still the grateful person I had always been.

It didn't come right away. The answer to the question I had in my heart didn't come to me all at once one morning. No, it came in pieces. It came in a Mormon message posted by a friend, it came in memories, it came in a few positive things happening in my life, but most of all it came by a way of patience. A patience that in some time The Lord was going to heal me. That one day I would wake up and look up and my ceiling and smile at the thought of facing the day ahead knowing that I was going to be okay.

I still wake up every morning and look up. I look up at my ceiling, and the darkness is still there. But if I looked around, if I turned my head to the left I would see a wall full of photographs of people who I love, and people who love me, if I looked to the right I would see a collage of photographs of my brother and me, if I looked forward I would see a quote, "If you can't control the wind, learn to adjust your sails", and if I really looked around I would see so much light that it could shine for the world to see.

It is still hard. No amount of gratitude or answers will change that. I believe that it will be hard for the rest of my life. That no day will be perfect because I am not perfect. I am learning day by day again to seek out the light, to find the rays that fill my soul. I hope to one day find the light again, to feel of it's warmth as it fills my soul. One day I will look up, and I won't see darkness, but the purest of lights..

maybe this message will touch your soul like it did mine.



Sunday, August 3, 2014

who are you?

I wrote this a while back and I have found it to be a comfort in the past few weeks... enjoy.



In any situation you face in life there is always a silver lining. To members of our church these silver linings come in the form of tender mercies or blessings from our Heavenly Father.

Life is far from perfect. No one gets through life un-scared. This is not meant to frighten us it is there to teach us. In life there are two different types of people there are the Tiggers, and the Eyeores. For those of you who have seen the many adventures of Winnie The Pooh you know exactly what I am talking about. Tigger a fun-loving character who never lets a bad day get him down, he continues to bounce a long without a care in the world. And then there is Eyeore a pessimistic negative character that dwells on all the bad stuff that seems to happen to him. Now in the adventures of these two characters it always seems that more bad things happen to Eyeore. But if you watch closely most of the time these two are stuck in the exact situation, but you never realize that Tigger is having a bad day since he is never complaining. In a talk given by Elder Worthin entitled “Live in thanksgiving daily” he shares a story about a husband and wife who live and work together. It says: A long time ago in a faraway village lived a man who everyone did their very best to avoid. He was the type of person who believed that there was only one competent person in the world, and that one person was himself. Consequently, he was never satisfied with anything. His shoes never fit right. His shirt never felt comfortable. When his food wasn’t too cold, it was too salty, and when it wasn’t too hot, it was too bland. If a field wasn’t sowed by himself, it was not sowed well. If he didn’t close the door, the door was not closed properly. In short, he made a career of frowning, lecturing, criticizing, and mumbling about the incompetencies of every other person in the rest of the world. Unfortunately, the man was married, which made matters all the worse. No matter what his wife did, in his eyes it was wrong. No matter what the unfortunate woman cooked, sewed, or cleaned—or even when she milked the cow—it was never satisfactory, and he let her know it. She tried very hard to be a good wife, but it seemed the harder she tried, the less she pleased him. Finally, one evening she could take no more. “I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” she told him. “Tomorrow I will do your chores and you will do mine.” “But you can’t do my chores,” the man replied. “You don’t know the first thing about sowing, hoeing, and irrigating.” But the woman was adamant. And on top of that, she was filled with a righteous anger that frankly astonished and frightened the man to the point where he didn’t dare disagree. So the next morning the wife went off to the fields and the man began the domestic chores. After thinking about it, he had actually convinced himself he was looking forward to it. Once and for all, he would demonstrate to his wife how things should be done. Unfortunately, not everything went according to plan. In fact, nearly everything the man touched turned into disaster. He spilled the milk, let the pig get into the house, lost the cow, burned the dinner, and ultimately set the house on fire, narrowly escaping with his own life. When his wife returned, she discovered her husband sitting on a pile of ashes, smoke still rising from his clothes. But the woman wasn’t the type to rub things in. She helped him up, wiped the soot from his beard, fixed him a little something to eat, and then prepared a bed of straw for them to sleep on. From that day forward, the man never complained about anyone or anything else for as long as he lived.

This man was an Eyeore. By living in a life without any gratitude he made his life a horrible thing. By not being grateful for what he had and for the blessing his wife was in his life. He never seemed to think his life was good enough, or anything anyone did was good enough either. He harmed the relationship with his wife and all the other people in his life. We all know people in our lives that show these similar characteristics. Look at your life. When bad things happen who are you in the situation, now think of your friends. Who would you rather spend time with. I know I would much rather hang out in a room full of Tiggers than a room full of Eyeores.

You may be wondering how you can become a Tigger if you find yourself to be more of an Eyeore. Well the good news is it is quite a simple solution. Give thanks to The Lord. Show him your gratitude. There is a popular quote that states, “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” How true is that. It is so easy to look at a bad day and think it is never going to get better, but by noticing the hand of The Lord we can change our mind set. We are taught in the scriptures how valued gratitude really is. In D&C 59:7 it says “ Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.” And as we know when we hear those two words in the scriptures “Thou shalt” we know that the Lord is commanding us to do something. Showing gratitude is a commandment given to us. When we show gratitude it is our way of showing our Heavenly Father that we see the silver linings he is sending us. Life is far from easy. It is something that takes work it is important for us to notice the hand of our Heavenly Father in all that we do. When we do this we will soon find ourselves to be more like Tigger people. I’m not saying that by showing gratitude, that all our problems will suddenly disappear, they will simply just become easier to live through.

My life has been far from easy and perfect. Some day’s trials hit me in the face and I feel like my life cannot get any worse than it is right now. It is how I face these trials that affect my life.

When my brother passed away I had to take a step back, and when I did I saw two options, almost like a fork in the road in my path it gave me two options. One option I could chose was from that day forward live a life with the attitude of “woe is me” or with the attitude that life was just never going to be good again, and how can I possible attempt to be happy when this huge piece of my life was suddenly without warning or cause missing. Then there was the other option, the option to face this new trial with a brave face and have hope. Hope that little by little I would grow and live my life the way my brother would want me to. To find that joy he so easily brought to my life in things that I would come across in the days to come. In that moment of decision I had to grow up, because the decision I made in that moment would affect my entire life, the life of my future family, and the life of my family now. That day I made my choice to live the life that my brother would be proud of, to live with hope that my Heavenly Father knew what he was doing, and to trust in his will.

Since that choice no day has been easy. I don’t wake up and feel like I am filled with life and everything suddenly is perfect. Every day I have to find that one thing that was a blessing sent to me that was supposed to get me through that day. And without fail there is always that one thing, and most times there is multiple ways I see my Heavenly Fathers hand in my life during that day. Heavenly Fathers hand is in all of our lives. That is his way of showing us his love on a daily basis.

Many of us have been in a situation where we have helped someone and received no gratitude in return for that help. How do you feel when that happens? I know I feel upset, almost to the point where I don’t want to help that person anymore, because I feel like I am being taken advantage of.

Well our Heavenly Father feels the same way when he blesses us, and we don’t show him our gratitude, he feels those same emotions, except being the amazing father that he is, he puts that pain aside and he continues to bless us.

We should not take advantage of our Heavenly Fathers love for us. We should show him our thanks and gratitude every day. I challenge all of you to never let a day pass where you don’t let your Heavenly Father know how grateful you are, and how much you appreciate his love for you and for all that he has given you. If you do this, little by little you will find that the burdens you are carrying will begin to feel lighter, and you will see yourself become more and more like a Tigger.

Another thing we can do is open our hearts. We need to let go of negative emotions. Anger, resentment and bitterness stunt our spiritual growth. We can cleanse our hearts by getting rid of the thoughts and feelings that drag us down.

Nephi certainly had reason to be resentful. Hated by his brothers, bound and beaten and nearly murdered, he had plenty to be bitter about. After his father died, Nephi must have felt completely alone. He surely felt threatened. He surely felt discouraged. He surely felt troubled. But when it came time for him to communicate his feelings, what did he write? “Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

Yes his path had been difficult. Yes, his heart groaned because of mistakes he had made, but he did not allow himself to linger in negativity. Instead, he told himself. “Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee”.

The third thing we can do to live in thanksgiving daily, is open our arms.

One of the best ways we can show our gratitude is by blessing the lives of those around us. King Benjamin taught his people in Mosiah, “If you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice.” “Behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your god.”

We can live in thanksgiving daily by opening our arms to those around us. When was the last time you told someone you love how much they mean to you? When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to someone who has always been there for you, someone who has sacrificed for you, someone whose heart has always been filled with hopes and dreams for you?

When was the last time you unselfishly reached out to help another in need? Every time we cheer another’s heart, every time we ease another’s burden, every time we lift a weary hand, we show our gratitude to Heavenly Father to whom we owe all that we have and all that we are.

The blessing that come from opening our arms to others are among the choicest this earth has to offer.

As we strive to open our eyes, hearts and arms, our step will become a little lighter, our smile will become a little brighter and the darkness that sometimes tries to take over our lives will become a little lighter. Don’t be discouraged if you haven’t been an especially grateful tigger like person. Be happy and smile when you think of what an impression you will make on those who thought they knew you. Think how you will surprise them.

The Lord expects us to be Tiggers in our lives. The Lord promises us great things if we show gratitude. In D&C 78:19 it reads “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious”. In the topical guide it says that we should thank our Heavenly Father for His goodness to us by acknowledging His hand in all things, thanking Him for all that He gives us, keeping His commandments, and serving others. We should especially thank Him for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, for the Savior's great example, for His teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help, for His infinite Atonement. Gratitude is a great thing to have in our lives and to show and express daily not only to our Heavenly Father, but to all the people we come in contact with.

Don’t wait to start. Open your eyes open your hearts and open your arms. If you do so, your life with have a new level of meaning and your will forge relationships that will last through out your life and into the eternities.

My heart is continuously filled with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for everything he has given me, for his great plan of happiness that gives me hope that I will be with my brother again, and that he has a plan for me in my life. What great peace that brings..